i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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