I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Im part way to drunk.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
