girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
