Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
