Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I am naked and annoyed.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize