I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
