i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
