its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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