i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
