I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
