Cold hands, warm shart.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
