What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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