Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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