im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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