You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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