remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
