Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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