Dignity is for republicans.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize