Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
