So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
birth control should be required to get into college
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
