distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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