you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
