I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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