Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
