I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
