I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
