he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
