He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
