Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
