I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
