I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize