He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
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