still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
