Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
