Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
