operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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