We're facebook friends in real life
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
