With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
