I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize