i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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