lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
