During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
