Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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