i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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