it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
