so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
