Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
