bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
