I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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