Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize