I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
