I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize