have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize