Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
