when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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