had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My feet surprised me
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
