I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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