physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
