Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
