so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
