He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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