dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Buhtt sex?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
