I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
