what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
