You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
